(A New Zealand Joker's Lament for his Sheila)

I'm an ordinary joker getting old before my time
For my heart's in Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line.

You can get to Taumarunui going north or going south
And you end up there at midnight and you're cinders in your mouth;
You got cinders in your whiskers and a cinder in your eye,
So you hop off at Refreshments for a cupper tea and pie
In Taumarunui, Taumarunui, Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line.

There's a sheila in Refreshments and she's pouring cupsa tea
And my heart jumps like a rabbit when she pours a cup for me;
She's got hair a flaming yellow and a mouth a flaming red
And I'll love that flaming sheila till I'm up and gone and dead
In Taumarunui, Taumarunui, Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line.

You can get a job in Wellington or get a job up north
But you can't in Taumarunui through you try for all you're worth;
If I want to see this sheila, then I got to take a train;
Got ten minutes for refreshments then they cart me off again
In Taumarunui, Taumarunui, Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line.

Well, they took me on as fireman on the Limited Express,
And I thought that she'd be jake but now it's just a flaming mess;
The sheila didn't take to me; I thought she'd be a gift;
She's gone and changed for duty hours and works the daylight shift
In Taumarunui, Taumarunui,
Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line.
I'm an ordinary joker growing old before my time
For my heart's in Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line.

 

 

 

Down the Hall on Saturday Night

Words and Music by Peter Cape (c1953)

I got a new brown sports coat,
I got a new pair of grey strides,
I got a real Kiwi haircut,
Bit off the top and short back and sides.

Soon as I tied up the goory,
Soon as I swept out the yard,
Soon as I hosed down me gumboots,
I'll be livin' it high and livin' it hard.

 

I'm gonna climb onto the tractor,
I'm gonna belt it outer the gate.
There's a hop on down the hall and
It starts sharp somewhere 'bout half past eight.

 

Hey, look at the sheilas cuttin' the supper,
Look at the kids slidin' over the floor,
And look at the great big bunch of jokers
Standin' round the door.

 

They got the teacher to belt the pianner,
They got Joe from the store at the drum.
We're as slick as the Orange in Auckland
For hoopin' things up and makin' them hum.

 

I had a schottische with the tart from the butcher's
Had a waltz with the constable's wife,
Had a beer from the keg on the cream truck,
And the cop had one too, you can betcher life.

 

Oh, it's great bein' out with the jokers,
When the jokers are sparkin' and bright,
Yeah, it's great givin' check to the sheilas
Down the hall on Saturday night.

Contact: bruce "at" staples-moon.com